update to the 'i feel so alone' post

i saw the patient personally in the clinic. she turned over a new leaf. her baby was doing fine, her bleeding had stopped, and she was going to try to start working again. she told me she had made a commitment to becoming a better mother than she had been, and had newfound strength in this little life growing inside of her. i reached out and gave her a big hug.

then... 5 days later. she miscarried.

when kids are the teachers

referencing the former post regarding the bully... days passed and i asked luci one day, what happened to your bully? she said, "you mean my friend?"
"what?!"
"yeah... i asked her if she wanted to be friends instead of fighting."
"and she said yes?"
"yes... and she wanted to be BEST friends too."

then last night... i was so angry i was seeing red. i was helping luci make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, but getting frustrated because she wanted one slice toasted, one slice not toasted, peanut butter first, and jelly not jam. i suddenly felt a cold splash on my foot. when i turned around elijah had emptied a tub of yogurt onto the kitchen rug and shaken it all over the counter, himself, and everything within a four foot radius. after cleaning it up with the clorox wipes (a.k.a. poison wipes, mommy, and don't touch it on my skin!) i sank onto the couch with a big sigh. to add insult to injury, luci didn't eat the sandwich because she was too emotionally bent out of shape by the yogurt incident.

i said rather plainly, "Lord... please comfort me."

and of course... He placed a fleeting image in my mind. it was of me, except that i was old, demented, forgetful, messy. and the kids were now tending to my needs.

okay. i get it.