sinai-grace days

i've been wanting to linger in bed a little longer each morning. it's so lovely to be sandwiched between luci and lij. luci will spoon right into my back. lij will start playing with my hair, saying, "huh?! huh?!" in his cute little baby voice. i remember luci's big word at that age was "tartar."

i think i've also been treating lij like a puppy. he crawls over to me and i ruffle his hair, rub his back, then pat his butt to send him on his way. i pluck him out of trouble when he starts looking for shoes to bite, papers to rip, or the outgrown swing to crawl under. i clap and say, "good boy!" when he does a trick.

one time i had lij on my lap and luci came over to me holding her piggy bank. she said, "here mommy, i want to buy him! take my money!" speaking of money, luci wanted to buy a frivolous $14 toy the last time we went shopping. i told her 'mommy's piggy bank doesn't have enough money in it right now.' she said, "poor mommy's little blue horsie is too small." i had no clue she saw my old childhood piggy bank and made the correlation.

i miss home. there's gobs of work on my desk which i'm totally too unmotivated to do. hence i blog. with my door shut of course, furtively minimizing my screen behind patient labwork if i hear footsteps a little too close. i pulled an all-nighter working on a presentation for the department. i kept trying not to fall asleep on the road by blasting the AC, prying my eyelids open, singing whatever song came out of the radio. i was belting out, "you make me feel like a natural woman." which is a song i'd never sing, even as a joke. i began singing, "i hate this drive. i hate this drive..." to the same melody.

only 5 more days at this forsaken rotation.