luci goosie

praise God! i've had a gentle week of nights, and was able to get sleep. so we went to ann arbor this morning. i took the kids to gallup park while g met with his professor. luci and i played in the sun while lij slept in the stroller. then we decided to feed the ducks some chips ahoy in our bag. they ate the cookies all up... (who wouldn't?) then we went on our merry way taking a walk by the river. on the way back luci was innocently eating peanut butter cap 'n' crunch from a ziplock bag. i heard the pitter patter of feet. i turned to see her practically engulfed by a swarm of geese going for her cereal. they were easily as tall as her, hissing and going for her hands, neck, butt... i got all ninja on them. i yelled and flailed, then snatched luci up and took off running uphill with her in one arm, steering the stroller with lij asleep in the other.

what would that be like? to be encircled and pecked at by 6 foot tall ostriches? hissing and snapping? pooping and shoving?

of course i looked ridiculous to all the affluent stay-at-home-moms and toddlers who have figured out that feeding the birds will only make them go crazy.

my little teapot

we were in church a week ago. luci wasn't singing. luci, sing! we encouraged her. she frowned. after mass she said, "i can't sing anything but 'i'm a little teapot', mommy"... i asked her if she'd sing even that for Jesus. so she turned to the altar and sang to the cross, i'm a little teapot short and stout! (this was after mass, of course)

fast-forward to today. i told her to pick up her sippy cup that she threw on the ground. i put my hands on my hips in an angry posture and said, "do you want a time out?" she replied, "no time out..." she stopped mid-sentence with a quizzical look, "you've got handles now mommy?"

lijah, on the other hand, is so much less fiesty. he doesn't even cry when he's hungry. he just looks sadder and sadder. and if you give him food he'll snap it right up. well... there was one time when we were in the car and he just wanted to be held. gary and i were calling him 'hamburglar' because he was vocalizing and it sounded like "robble robble robble." so we parked in front of an old navy and cuddled him for awhile.

it's taken care of

anyone who's had to deal with daycare probably knows my pain. gary and i stopped by this center really close to the church (his new job!). it's supposed to be a learning center. the brochures are lovely and airbrushed. i got in there and luci's age group was just kind of roaming around. there were a couple of rowdy boys who looked like they could knock her over. the toys looked germy. then the infant room really killed me. baby-watchers. it's as if the workers looked at the clock and it said 10am, so they dutifully picked up the babies and rocked them. it's time to hold the babies such that this could more closely resemble the nurturing environment of home. then at exactly 10:07 we'll set them down again. all this for 20 hours per week for a grand total of $300/wk. i was kind of annoyed at gary, who was chatting it up with the director of the center, giggling, etc. later he told me he did it to offset the daggers in my eyes and the kung fu grip i had on both of the kids. i was ready to quit my job right then and live off the land.

oh well. in the back of my mind i trusted God to throw us a bone...

then my mom calls me with someone she and my dad met on the island (mackinac island). she's filipina, and she was hoping to find a family to be a nanny for, that would treat her like one of their own. ding!

her name is jennifer, we call her ate jen. she said she told God that only He knows His master plan, but if it was in His plan for her to be with a family to nanny...

she is the answer to our prayers... even if we didn't realize we were praying for this. i believe it's the Holy Spirit... i remember the verse about the Spirit going to God with our prayers in inexpressible groanings. i'll find the passage and post it later. it makes me... sheepish... because i feel i haven't been praying that much. it's been a long time since i've felt deeply in love with Him. i know to try to love God is to love Him. but i feel that's not good enough. it would be like me telling gary that trying to love him means i love him.

how do i get back to Steubenville 2000?

wisdom from a two year old

who bites mommy's butt, daddy?
bad people.
i don't want anyone biting her butt. i LOVE her.

that was my bad. i was getting a little heated talking about how hard life is and how unfair some people are, and i ended up saying really loud, "they can just bite my butt!" luci didn't ask gary about it until they were in the car alone together. poor luci.

'lijah's first tooth is out. it's the front bottom left. ouch. six months old and he won't take solids. never heard of that before. i tickle him so he opens his mouth to laugh, then i swoop a spoonful of rice cereal or banana in. he frowns. i tickle him again and he laughs with pursed lips.

then there's luci... luci the petulant. luci the super-strong-willed. just when she was about to become overbearing she strolled up to me with her hands folded, blanket draped over her forehead, princess crown over the blanket. she said in her best impression of Mommy Mary, extending her arms, "don't worry. i am here. i love you and i want to save you." it made me jump up and hug her. she's really a good kid. i think she knows too much for her own good. it's a constant battle to give her things to do. you know the saying... an idle mind can be destructive. we were in the car once and i said, "luci, can i tell you something? i hope you have friends that love Jesus and Mommy Mary, because when i was a little girl, people laughed at that kind of thing. i want you to be able to love them without feeling funny. a lot of times i grew up sad." i stopped, thinking i had said too much, wondering if it even registered. she was quiet for a bit, then she replied, "don't worry mommy. big daddy God is here. He will make you happy, and He will make you silly too."

(Thanks Eric, Anna, Isaiah, & Ethan for the tickets to Wicked, free babysitting, and cupcakes! I love you guys!)