praise God

i've found myself worrying lately. our furnace just broke. it's been teetering on the edge since last winter; we were hoping to sell the house at some point without having to replace it. then last tuesday it died. we slept with our coats until the guy came to fix it. now we're out $2800... just when i was breathing a sigh of relief about making it through maternity leave with groceries in the fridge, and not having to use our credit cards.

i also worry about being a good parent, about being there for my kids. can you be a bad parent, even though you're not deliberately selfish or negligent? what if they hate me when they grow up although i've given them my best? what if they choose not to believe in God? (my worst fear!) what if there's something they really need that i can't give them? all i know is i love them and would give my life for them. i think that's all God asks us to do is love whole-heartedly, and He provides the rest...

which brings me to the reason for this blog... i haven't been praising Him enough lately, yet He still looks out for us. aha, i just remembered that i am his kid too! here's something *lucky... gary and i needed to find $700 to make up the difference between my maternity leave disability and what i usually make. he says not to worry. yeah right, we have $200 in savings, and the dreaded credit cards. and that was before we knew the furnace would die. i've never seen us use coinstar as much as we have in the past 2 months. then the call came. gary was asked to play the piano at the 'house of prayer' while their primary pianist went on a mission trip to guatemala. there were 7 services for which he was needed, and was paid $100 per service.

i praise Him for being so blatant, which is what i need sometimes. and of course He knows that.